Suicidal Dog…or Just Stupid?

Soleil has managed to baffle me with her bipolar stupidity yet again.  While she’s normally a well-behaved dog, she goes through spurts of digging in the bathroom trash or exploring the dirty dishes in the sink.  Both these tendencies have encouraged me to indulge my OCD behavior and keep those areas uber-clean, but I resent the fact that her inability to just sleep like dogs do becomes my problem.

For years I have kept a box upstairs for those random gifts that I have on hand.  On the top of that box there were a few tissue-wrapped stemless wine glasses (the cheap ones from Pier One, *not* the Riedel ones that started this trend).  Yesterday I came home to find one of those glasses on the floor, chewed by Stupid McDumbass.  Luckily she didn’t shred the paper, so all the shards were inside the tightly wrapped paper, bar two small pieces on the carpet.  I waited to see if she had stomach issues from ingesting said glass, but she’s been fine the past 24 hours, and had no visible cuts in her mouth.

As a dog owner I’m trained to keep my eye out for potential canine-disasters, and while Soleil has done some truly unforeseeable things, this goes beyond the pale.  Chewing wine glasses?  What’s next – discovering her opposable thumb and sticking her head in the oven?

At this point I’m going to have to muzzle AND crate her every time I leave the house.  Or find a doggie psychologist to prescribe puppy Prozac.


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